My Fair Lady

Outside Covent Garden on a rainy evening in 1912, dishevelled cockney flower girl Eliza Doolittle (Audrey Hepburn) meets linguistic expert Henry Higgins (Rex Harrison). After delivering a musical tirade against "verbal class distinction," Higgins tells his companion Colonel Pickering (Wilfred Hyde-White) that, within six months, he could transform Eliza into a proper lady, simply by teaching her proper English. The next morning, face and hands freshly scrubbed, Eliza presents herself on Higgins' doorstep, offering to pay him to teach her to be a lady. "It's almost irresistable," clucks Higgins. "She's so deliciously low. So horribly dirty." He turns his mission into a sporting proposition, making a bet with Pickering that he can accomplish his six-month miracle to turn Eliza into a lady. This is one of the all-time great movie musicals, featuring classic songs and the legendary performances of Harrison. In this scene, Eliza is facing her first “test” as a lady and joins Higgins and his mother’s friends at the Ascot race course. She has been warned in advance to keep to phrases such as "How do you do?" and "How kind of you to let me come"



Click here for "My Fair Lady" DVDs, Soundtracks and Posters

Higgins arrives, looking completely out of place in his brown suit. He sees his mother, whom he recognises from behind by her hat. She is busy talking to some friends.)

HIGGINS
Mother.

MRS HIGGINS
(turning around to face him)
Henry! what a disagreeable surprise.

HIGGINS
Hello mother
(he kisses her on the cheek.)
How nice you look.

MRS HIGGINS
What are you doing here? You promised never to come to Ascot. Go home at once.

HIGGINS
I can't mother. I'm here on business.

MRS HIGGINS
Oh no, Henry, you mustn't. I'm quite serious, you'll offend all my friends: the moment they've met you I've never see them again.Besides, you're not even dressed for Ascot. (She turns back to her friends.)

HIGGINS
I changed my shirt.
(Taking her up by the arm before she can continue; walking towards her box)
Now, listen mother, I've got a job for you; a phonetics job. I picked up a girl--

MRS HIGGINS
(pleased)
Henry.

HIGGINS
Oh no, dear, not a love affair; she's a flower girl. I'm taking her to the annual Embassy Ball but I wanted to try her out first.

MRS HIGGINS
I beg your pardon.

HIGGINS
Well, you know the Embassy Ball?

MRS HIGGINS
Of course I know the ball, but--

HIGGINS
So I invited her to your box today, do you understand?

MRS HIGGINS
A common flower girl!

HIGGINS
Oh, it's alright, I taught her how to speak properly. She has strict instructions as to her behaviour. She's to keep to two subjects: the weather and everybody's health; "fine day", and "how do you do", and not just let herself go on things in general. Help her along, darling, you'll be quite safe.

MRS HIGGINS
Safe! to talk about one's health in the middle of a race?

HIGGINS
(looking away; expecting Eliza and Pickering to arrive any moment)
Well, you've got to talk about something.

MRS HIGGINS
Where's the girl, now?

HIGGINS
She's being pinned; some of the clothes they bought her didn't quite fit. I told Pickering we should have taken her with us.

(A group of four people--an older couple and Mrs. Eynsford-Hill and her son, Freddie--come to join Mrs. Higgins in her box.)

MRS HIGGINS
Ah! Mrs Eynsford-Hill.

MRS EYNSFORD-HILL
Good afternoon, Mrs Higgins.

MRS HIGGINS
(pointing to Higgins who is still looking out for Eliza)
You know my son: Henry?

MRS EYNSFORD-HILL
How do you do?

HIGGINS
I've seen you somewhere before?

MRS EYNSFORD-HILL
I don't know.

HIGGINS
Oh, it doesn't matter. You'd better sit down.

MRS HIGGINS
(greeting the other lady)
Lady Boxington.

HIGGINS
(anxiously)
Where the devil can they be?

MRS HIGGINS
(greeting him)
Lord Boxington.

HIGGINS
(with delight; seeing Pickering arriving with Eliza, who is dressed spectactularly)
Ah!
(He motions for them to come over.)

(Eliza and Pickering walk towards them, but Eliza appears slightly nervous. Pickering reassures her and she relaxes. They join them in the box. Higgins scrutinises Eliza's behaviour as they are introduced.)

MRS HIGGINS
Colonel Pickering, you're just in time for tea.

PICKERING
Thank you, Mrs Higgins. May I introduce Miss Eliza Doolittle.

MRS HIGGINS
My dear Miss Doolittle.

ELIZA
How kind of you to let me come.
(Higgins nods to himself, satisfied with her elocution.)

MRS HIGGINS
Delighted, my dear.
(Presenting her to Eliza)
Lady Boxington.

LADY BOXINGTON
How do you do?

ELIZA
How do you do?

MRS HIGGINS
Lord Boxington.

LORD BOXINGTON
How do you do?

ELIZA
How do you do?

MRS HIGGINS
Mrs Eynsford-Hill: Miss Doolittle.

MRS EYNSFORD-HILL
How do you do?

ELIZA
How do you do?

(Freddie motions eagerly to Mrs. Higgins not to forget him.)

MRS HIGGINS
And Freddie Eynsford-Hill.

ELIZA
How do you do?

FREDDIE
(taking a great interest in her)
How do
you do?

HIGGINS
(tipping his hat)
Miss Doolittle.

ELIZA
Good afternoon, Professor Higgins.

(Eliza forgets to sit down like the others so Higgins discreetly mimes the action to remind her. She does so.)

FREDDIE
(sitting by her, infatuated)
The first race was very exciting Miss Doolittle; I'm so sorry that you missed it.

MRS HIGGINS
Will it rain, do you think?

ELIZA
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.
(Higgins tries to recover the situation by doing a sort of Spanish dance. Embarrassed, he stops.)
But in Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen.

FREDDIE
Ha! ha! How awfully funny!

ELIZA
What is wrong with that, young man? I bet I got it right.

FREDDIE
Smashing!

LADY BOXINGTON
Hasn't it suddenly turned chilly?

MRS EYNSFORD-HILL
I do hope we won't have any unseasonable cold spells. They bring on so much influenza and the whole of our family is susceptible to it.

ELIZA
My aunt died of influenza--so they said--but it's my belief they done the old woman in.
(Higgins and Pickering look at each other, worried.)

LADY BOXINGTON
(not understanding)
Done her in?

ELIZA
Yes, Lord love you. Why should she die of influenza when she come through diptheria right enough the year before? Fairly blue with it, she was. They all thought she was dead, but my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat.

HIGGINS
(to himself as he turns away in depair)
Oh...

ELIZA
Then she come to so sudden she bit the bowl off the spoon.
(Freddie chuckles.)

MRS EYNSFORD-HILL
Dear me!

ELIZA
Now what call would a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza? And what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? Somebody pinched it; and what I say is, them as pinched it done her in.

LORD BOXINGTON
Done her in? Done her in, did you say?

LADY BOXINGTON
(perplexed)
Whatever does it mean?

HIGGINS
(hastily)
Ah, now that's the new small-talk: er, to do somebody in means to kill them.

MRS EYNSFORD-HILL
But you surely don't believe your aunt was killed?

ELIZA
Do I not! Them she lived with would have killed her for a hat-pin, let alone a hat.

(Higgins winces and looks over at Pickering who has his head buried in his hands.)

MRS EYNSFORD-HILL
But it can't have been right for your father to pour spirits down her throat like that. It might have killed her.

ELIZA
Not her. Gin was mother's milk to her.
(Higgins takes his hat off and bows, discreetly retreating to the back behind Pickering)
Besides, he'd poured so much down his own throat, he knew the good of it.

LORD BOXINGTON
Did you mean that he drank?

ELIZA
Drank! My word! Something chronic.
(Higgins gasps in despair. To Freddie, who is giggling at her again)
Here! what are you sniggering at?

FREDDIE
It's the new small talk: you do it so awfully well.

ELIZA
Well, if I was doing it proper, what was you sniggering at?
(Innocently)
Have I said something I oughtn't?

HIGGINS
Oh, no...

MRS HIGGINS
(interposing)
Not at all, my dear.

ELIZA
Well, that's a mercy, anyhow.

(As Eliza starts to continue, Higgins gently pulls Pickering up by the arm.)

PICKERING
(startled)
What?
(To Higgins; realising what he wants)
Yes, yes, oh yes.
(To Eliza; taking up her arm)
I don't know whether there's enough time before the next race to place a bet, but come, my dear.

MRS HIGGINS
I don't suppose so.

FREDDIE
(to Eliza; as she is leaving)
I have a bet on number seven. I should be so happy if you would take it. You'll enjoy the race ever so much more.

ELIZA
(as she takes the card from Freddie)
That's very kind of you.

FREDDIE
His name is Dover.

PICKERING
Come along, my dear, come along.

(They make their way down to the fence where the other spectators have gathered.)

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and Gentlemen
There they are again, lining up to run.
Now they're holding steady,
They are ready for it
Look! It has begun!

(Everyone stands silent, waiting for the horses' approach.)

ELIZA
(looking out at the track)
Come on...
come on, Dover.
(Becoming more excited as the horses near)

Come on...
come on, Dover.
Come on.
(Shouting; as the horses race past)

Come on, Dover!
Move yer bloomin' arse!!

(Everyone gasps in shock; Higgins covers his mouth, suppressing a laugh; a lady faints; and Pickering quietly lowers his hat.)

Click here for "My Fair Lady" DVDs, Soundtracks and Posters