Reservoir Dogs - I Don't Tip

A gang of thieves carry out an armed robbery on a Diamond warehouse. The police are after them so quickly that they suspect they have a rat in their company. This film starts right after the robbery, with flashbacks to before the robbery, and to the planning of the crime. We are also introduced to the main characters in flashback mode. In this scene, the thieves are having breakfast in a restaurant and the waitress brings them the bill.

Click here for "Reservoir Dogs" DVDs, Soundtracks and Books



The WAITRESS comes over to the table. She has the check, and a pot of coffee.

WAITRESS
Can I get anybody more coffee.

JOE
No, we're gonna be hittin it. I'll take care of the check.
She hands the bill to him.

WAITRESS
Here ya go. Please pay at the register, if you wouldn't mind.

JOE
Sure thing.

WAITRESS
You guys have a wonderful day.
They all mutter equivalents. She exits and Joe stands up.

JOE
I'll take care of this, you guys leave the tip.
(to Mr. White)
And when I come back, I want my book back.

MR. WHITE
Sorry, it's my book now.

JOE
Blonde, shoot this piece of shit, will ya?
Mr. Blonde shoots Mr. White with his finger. Mr White
acts shot. Joe exits.

NICE GUY EDDIE
Okay, everybody cough up green for the little lady.
Everybody whips out a buck, and throws it on the table. Everybody, that is, except Mr. White.

NICE GUY EDDIE
C'mon, throw in a buck.

MR. WHITE
Uh-uh. I don't tip.

NICE GUY EDDIE
Whaddaya mean you don't tip?

MR. WHITE
I don't believe in it.

NICE GUY EDDIE
You don't believe in tipping?

MR. PINK
(laughing)
I love this kid, he's a madman, this guy.

MR. BLONDE
Do you have any idea what these ladies make? They make shit.

MR. WHITE
Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
Everybody laughs.

NICE GUY EDDIE
I don't even know a Jew who'd have the balls to say that. So let's get this straight. You never ever tip?

MR. WHITE
I don't tip because society says I gotta. I tip when somebody deserves a tip. When somebody really puts forth an effort, they deserve a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, that shit's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doin their job.

MR. BLUE
Our girl was nice.

MR. WHITE
Our girl was okay. She didn't do anything special.

MR. BLONDE
What's something special, take ya in the kitchen and suck your dick?
They all laugh.

NICE GUY EDDIE
I'd go over twelve percent for that.

MR. WHITE
Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long fuckin time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.

MR. BLONDE
What if she's too busy?

MR. WHITE
The words "too busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.

NICE GUY EDDIE
Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last thing you need is another cup of coffee.
They all laugh.

MR. WHITE
These ladies aren't starvin to death. They make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy.

NICE GUY EDDIE
Ahh, now we're getting down to it. It's not just that he's a cheap bastard--

MR. ORANGE
--It is that too--

NICE GUY EDDIE
--It is that too. But it's also he couldn't get a waiter job. You talk like a pissed off dishwasher: "Fuck those cunts and their fucking tips."

MR. BLONDE
So you don't care that they're counting on your tip to live?
Mr. White rubs two of his fingers together.

MR. WHITE
Do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin, playing just for the waitresses.

MR. BLONDE
You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.

MR. WHITE
So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them. They're servin ya food, you should tip em. But no, society says tip these guys over here, but not those guys over there. That's bullshit.

MR. ORANGE
They work harder than the kids at McDonald's.

MR. WHITE
Oh yeah, I don't see them cleaning fryers.

MR. BROWN
These people are taxed on the tips they make. When you stiff 'em, you cost them money.

MR. BLONDE
Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of tips.

MR. WHITE
Fuck all that.
They all laugh.

MR. WHITE
Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's fucked up. But that ain't
my fault. it would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you're telling me, I got two words for that: "Learn to fuckin type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big fuckin surprise.

MR. ORANGE
He's convinced me. Give me my dollar back.
Everybody laughs. Joe's comes back to the table.
JOE
Okay ramblers, let's get to rambling. Wait a minute, who didn't throw in?

MR. ORANGE
Mr. White.

JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
Mr. White?
(to Mr. White)
Why?

MR. ORANGE
He don't tip.

JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
He don't tip?
(to Mr. White)
You don't tip? Why?

MR. ORANGE
He don't believe in it.

JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
He don't believe in it?
(to Mr. White)
You don't believe in it?

MR. ORANGE
Nope.

JOE
(to Mr. Orange)
Shut up!
(to Mr. White)
Cough up the buck, ya cheap bastard, I paid for your goddamn breakfast.

MR. WHITE
Because you paid for the breakfast, I'm gonna tip. Normally I wouldn't.

JOE
Whatever. Just throw in your dollar, and let's move.
(to Mr. Blonde)
See what I'm dealing with here. Infants. I'm fuckin dealin with infants.
The eight men get up to leave. Mr. White's waist is in the F.G. As he buttons his coat, for a second we see he's carrying a gun. They exit Uncle Bob's Pancake House, talking amongst themselves.

Click here for "Reservoir Dogs" DVDs, Soundtracks and Books