Shrek - Who is the fairest of them all?

Shrek (voiced by Mike Myers) is a fearsome green ogre living in isolation in his own cozy little swamp. He is not receptive to visitors, and fends off the occasional party of torch-wielding villagers with ease. But when the power-hungry Lord Farquaad (John Lithgow) turns Shrek's swamp into a relocation camp for dozens of banished fairy-tale characters (including some pesky dwarves, wolves, and fairies) Shrek's quiet, introverted life is ruined.
In this classic scene, super-vain villain Lord Farquaad has discovers that he is not the fairest in the land and hatches his evil plot.

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LORD FARQUAAD: Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?

MAGIC MIRROR: Well, technically you're not a king.

LORD FARQUAAD: Uh, Thelonius. You were saying?

MAGIC MIRROR: What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.

LORD FARQUAAD: Go on.

MAGIC MIRROR: So, just sit back and relax My Lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, faraway. She likes sushi and hot tubbing any time. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! And last, but certainly not least, bachelorette number three is a fiery red head... from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three?

THELONIUS: Pick number three, my lord!

LORD FARQUAAD: Okay, okay, uh, number three!

MAGIC MIRROR: Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.

LORD FARQUAAD: Princess Fiona.

LORD FARQUAAD: She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go --

MAGIC MIRROR: But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.

LORD FARQUAAD: I'll do it.

MAGIC MIRROR:
Yes, but after sunset --

LORD FARQUAAD:
Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.

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